Lindsey Mead tagged me to write about three things for which I am grateful, five days in a row.  Today’s three: people who love my kids, Woody, teachers.

1.  People who love our kids.  This includes Kalvin and Grace’s grandparents, siblings, their niece and nephew, friends, cousins, teachers and….caregivers.  By caregivers, I mean nannies and babysitters.  Yes, we have a nanny.  Yes, we also have babysitters.  We do for a million reasons which I won’t get into here, because oh boy, is this a touchy subject.  Even more so for me and Dan as parents of babies who were abused at the hands of a caregiver, followed by the ensuing oblivious and unkind comments so many people felt compelled to share about the fact that we had/have help.  Asinine comments, really.  The only thing I will say on the topic is people need to do what is best for them and their family and tearing down other people’s choices to validate one’s own, well, that sucks. Don’t do that. Just don’t.  Moving on.  For ME, I know I am a better Mom because I work, because I’m not with them twenty four hours a day, because they love other people and other people love them.  And they do.  To hear my kids laughing downstairs while Katie plays with them, to hear Kalvin say he wants to show Katie his new truck, or to hear Grace say she wants to show Katie her princess crown, well, it makes my heart swell with joy and love and just plain happiness.  Because Katie would step in front of a truck of our kids, and really, is there any better gift to give your children than a small army of people who love them? Because Katie in turn shares Kalvin and Grace with her husband, Jay, who also loves Kalvin and Grace, who share them with Jay’s parents, and the circle widens.  Perhaps I am biased by my own childhood.  I love my parents, my parents raised me in every single sense of the word.  And I had a babysitter named Kim.  Kim is now like a sister to me. I lived her her and her husband for a time.  I can call her any time or night, she always gets it, no matter what it is, like an ace in my corner, the wind at my back.  I am the godmother of Kim’s only child.  And even if time goes by between seeing each other, she is and will always be, family.  My parents gave me that and I only hope I can give that to Kalvin and Grace.  So thank you Katie, for the role you have played, do play, and will in the future play in their lives.  Thank you for loving who they are and who they are becoming and for all the moments of inside knowledge we share of the tiny moments that make having kids so precious.  I’m grateful.

2.  Woody.  I have written an entire book about my introduction to the horse world through my quarterhorse, Woody, so I don’t know how to condense it here, in one paragraph, except to say meeting him was like coming home and setting out on an adventure, at the very same time.  Woody is real and authentic, clean, clear and genuine.  He sucks me into his presence orbit and a way of life free from bullshit.  It is such an incredible honor to be trusted by him, to learn from him, to be reflected in him. I am so humbled by the way he listens to my intentions, even if my delivery is wrong.  I am so grateful for the way he sees, speaks to, and feeds me, not me the psyched, but me the still calm witness beyond the human being reacting to the world. I am so grateful for the way he infuses me with confidence to live in the things that truly matter, and the ability to release the things that do not.  I am so grateful for the way he says, every time, Easy girl, it’s just life unfolding.  Easy.  Just enjoy the ride.  The spirit of a horse has been written about for centuries.  I get it now, I really do.  And in all honesty, it’s beyond words, at least it’s beyond my ability with words.  But my heart knows gratitude.

3.  Bookstores.  Closely related to my love of learning is my gratitude for brick and mortar bookstores.  I’m so grateful for that feeling when I first step through the doors and enter into a different world where time slows down and the outside traffic and bustle really cease to matter.  The truth is, I get lost in bookstores, in the best way possible.  Of course, every visit comes with a bit of anxiety because there is so much I want to read about and so many different sections from which I pull a handful of books that end up memorialized in the ensuing list that chronicles future reading.  I have now migrated that list(s) into an excel spreadsheet that is rather ridiculous, so ridiculous I had to create separate columns to mirror the separate sections of a bookstore that address my excessive number of interests.  I have always told Dan, if I slip into some kind of depression, don’t put me in an institution, don’t medicate me to the tilt, put  me in a bookstore.  Better yet, take me on a hike, then put me in a bookstore. Better yet, play a recording of the kids laughing, then a hike, then a bookstore.  You get the point.  I’m grateful to every independent bookstore and Barnes & Noble I’ve ever been in, thank you.